I have to admit that I am one those people that loves to flirt with the boundaries of life. Call it a death wish, call it trickster, call it whatever you like.
Yes it is partly a thrill seeking nature but on a deeper level it is so much more than that. I have been burned so many times. Trusting others blindly because I only wanted to see what I wanted to see. Wearing the oh so beautiful rose colored glasses and "woe is me" martyr hat.
This happens less and less, as I have matured and I know that my soul has come to play with these borders of what is "right and wrong" in order for me to trust myself. To discover MY TRUTH. As I engage and expose myself to different scenarios, different people and experiences I am constantly in search of what is MOST important to me. What I truly value. This is the stage and game of the SHAPESHIFTER.
I used to judge myself for this seductive behavior. Seeing myself as mischievous, untrust worthy, and naive. The truth is that my soul is innocent and the gift through all the heartache and turmoil has been remembering that innocence.
Allowing myself to welcome in danger when I want to; to welcome in challenge when I want to. Not because of an addiction and not because of its familiarity but because I am choosing to reaccess where my borders and boundaries are right now.
And through this process of being in the in-between places, the liminal and transitionary places of life am I able to crystallize for me what is TRUTH, what is beauty, and what is love.